Survivors Tell their Stories #2
- May 2, 2020
- 4 min read
Part 2
The following stories of sexual violence and harassment were submitted to us via @weareallaffected on Instagram. Most of these stories discuss incidents of rape or sexual assault by a family member or relative.
Disclaimer: These stories discuss rape and sexual assault.
“I said no, he hit me and told me I was a slut.”
Back when I was 7, my step dad would touch me. I came forward to my mom about it, but all he did was deny it. When I was 9, my mom, my sister, and brothers went out and I was stuck with my step father, he took me to the bedroom and shoved his c**k in my mouth, I was so scared. This stopped for a few years .When I was 14, he and I went on a road trip to New Jersey, he told me how sexy I was and how much he wanted to see me naked. He asked if I wanted to shower with him, I said no, he hit me and told me I was a slut. At the age 16, he raped me. He said if I told my mom and siblings, he would kill them. This went on till I was 17 when my mom left him.
“My cousin abused my innocence.”
When I was younger and didn’t understand the world, my cousin abused my innocence. He sexually assaulted me and told me that what he did was okay and we were “just playing.” This went on for years. As I grew older, I became uncomfortable as I knew it was wrong, but he kept touching me inappropriately and forcing me to do things I didn’t want to do even when I told him no. I’ve never told my family this because I can’t tear my family apart like that. There are too many broken relationships within his immediate family that this would only make what ruined my childhood worse. I’ve only ever slightly opened up about my assault to one person- being my best friend who has gone through assault as well. It first started happening around 7-8 years old and went on for years after that until I turned 14 when I finally stopped letting him even get close to me when I was alone.
“He had been molesting me the entire time.”
My story begins when I was 3 years old, and I spoke to a friend at preschool about my dad and I "spending the night together." As a 3 year old, I didn't know what I was talking about. A teacher reported it and my dad wasn't found guilty. 12 years later, I'm 15, and he had been molesting me the entire time. Only when I got my first boyfriend did I realize what my dad did to me.
It's been almost 6 years since I outed my dad on Halloween. I've grown immensely. I'm 21. I'm living my life and I'm okay. I have a boyfriend now who loves me in such a special way that I cry after he holds me. He knows how I hurt and he helps me through. I'm blessed to have gotten the help I deserved and the love I needed. I was abused again at 17 from a boy I "dated." I was pressured into sex with him, and for 2 months, he raped me over and over again. I thought I lost myself again like when I outed my dad. Instead I realized I found respect for myself and my body. Without these experiences, I wouldn't know what I do now. Things I wish I didn't. However, I'm so proud of how far I've come. It is possible for everyone to find happiness.
“I can't be alone with older men because of the trauma he left behind.”
When I was 8 years old, over thanksgiving break, my family was organizing a big Thanksgiving dinner and inviting quite a few people over. My "uncle" asked if he could stay the whole week of break and my parents said yes-- they didn't know any better. Well that whole week at night, he would shake me awake and take me to the front room where his wife was sleeping and do awful things to me. I didn't know what he was doing and I had never heard or experienced any of it before, so I kind of just let it happen.
He was at least 7 times the size of me and was a convicted pedophile (my mom knew, she just never believed it). I slept in a long reversible tweety bird nightgown in the top punk of my disney princess themed bed. There were two nights I tried faking being asleep, but he would just drag me out of the bed. I never truly realized what it was until about 7th grade, randomly one night, I was thinking, and I just started bawling when I figured it out. I'd always think about it, I just never actually realized what it was. but I didn't speak up about it until a year later, and even then, I didn't really want to. But it took another two years for him to be locked up. In between this time, he had done the same to another girl, and it made me that much more hellbent on getting him thrown out.
I still think about it all, and I can't be alone with older men because of the trauma he left behind. I didn't used to think I was hurt that bad, but when I had to talk about it was when it hit me that it was traumatizing. People shouldn’t be afraid to speak out, no matter how long ago it happened. I’m 17 now, and I’m still playing as big of a part as I can relating to sexual assault and getting justice. I've met so many people who've experienced this awful thing, and we all give each other so much hope and strength. I hope anyone who's gone through this finds their peace and strength.
National Sexual Assault Hotline: Call 1-800-656-4673
or Online ChatTo donate to support survivors, please donate here: https://donate.rainn.org/donate?_ga=2.234353118.1154012990.1588460256-1768914906.1588460256 The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, also known as RAINN, is a nonprofit anti-sexual assault organization, the largest in the United States, that helps survivors and fights for their justice. To submit your story, please do so below. In order to show your support for these survivors, we encourage that you create an account to leave comments below.
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